


Karoke and the Irish Potato Famine

by Cat_Moon



Series: HB Assortment [3]
Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-10-17 17:50:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: What does karaoke have to do with the Irish Potato famine, you ask? You’ll have to read to find out.





	Karoke and the Irish Potato Famine

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2010, for the summer prompts at VampSisters. The prompts were: karaoke (what songs each character would choose and why), "awkward", and Josef's first meeting with Coraline. I decided to use all 3 in one story. With a title like that, you knew it was gonna be weird, right? Set in my HB universe future.

A night out. Just to have some fun, the whole “gang.” That’s the way the women had presented it. Whether they were aware that the guys would have balked had they known the exact destination for said night… well, that would remain a mystery. Perhaps though, the distraction of well placed lips and hands and voice as they approached and entered the club was a hint. In any case, the huge sign out front proclaiming Friday to be karaoke night went unnoticed. The sight as they walked in of the short balding accountant up on the stage belting out an ear-damaging version of “I Will Survive,” however, was too obvious to miss.

“Oh, hell no.” Shane came to an abrupt and immovable standstill, causing the couple behind to nearly run into him.

Mick peered around the elder vamp, instantly sussed out the situation and promptly made to turn around and leave.

“Oh no you don’t!” Beth told him, her hand clamped around his arm keeping him from escaping. “You guys promised us we could do whatever we want tonight.”

Meanwhile, Shane was giving Sara _I’m disappointed in you_ looks. Sara didn’t rise to the bait.

Josef, pulling up the rear, stood there for a moment, face impassive. “This calls for massive amounts of alcohol,” he pronounced, allowing Beth to steer him and Mick over to an available table close to the stage.

“Not enough booze in the world,” Shane lamented.

XXX

It would have been easy to pick predictable songs, tunes they knew well and that fit their personal styles. That’s why they all decided to go for something different in their choices. It was also probably a way to make things a bit more interesting – that and the bet the guys all made on who would most embarrass themselves. The bet and prospect of poking fun at each other made the night bearable.

In a show of bravado (or perhaps just to get things over with quickly) Shane went up first. He chose Loverbody’s “The Kid is Hot Tonight." Not a totally odd choice, it was rock and roll after all and he’d done some unexpected songs on his tour, but the song wasn’t a good match for his voice. That and the exaggerated way he sang it presented a very believable picture of an amateur.

_How do you like him so far, how do you like his show_

_How do you like the way he rocks and the way he rolls?_

As Shane sang along to the words displayed on the screen, he realized maybe the song wasn’t such a bizarre choice after all. Funny how sometimes choices made seemingly randomly could hold deeper meaning. He forgot to feel awkward as his thoughts wandered with the lyrics.

Fads came and went, so many he’d seen over the centuries of his life that he should be used to them. The latest big trend to come along and suddenly everyone wants to get in on it. Until the next thing… He supposed it was a consequence of being human. Their lives were so short; they had to grasp everything quick, hard and fleeting, to get as much living in their brief span of time on Earth as they could. When you’re a vampire you know about longevity. Good is good, not just what’s popular. And rock and roll was _good._

_The kid is hot tonight, whoa so hot tonight,_

_But where will he be tomorrow?_

They thought rock and roll was a fad. That was seventy years ago. Shane wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was his rock and roll. Even if it did occasionally get expressed in embarrassing and awkward ways.

XXX

Sara sauntered up to the stage with all the sassy bravado of her age, grabbing the mike and breaking into Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock and Roll.” Not exactly a shocking choice, and she turned out to be not half bad.

_I love rock and roll, so put another dime in the jukebox baby,_

_I love rock and roll, so come and take your time and dance with me…_

“She’s kinda got that Joan Jett ‘vibe’ going for her, doesn’t she?” Josef remarked, nodding this head to the stage, where the girl was currently getting the audience to clap during the final chorus. Her leather jacket and attitude definitely completed the image.

“That’s my Sara,” Shane said, watching with pride.

Jose might have murmured, _our Sara_ but it would be impossible to tell since the loud music drowned out the more quiet whispers even from vampire ears...

Shane and Sara shared a high-five as she came back to the table amidst enthusiastic applause. As far as the contest the club was holding for best number went, it looked like she was ahead so far.

XXX

They shoved Josef up next. All the eyes on the table were on the incongruous sight of Josef Konstantin singing karaoke, silent in anticipation of finding out what the snarky vampire might choose.

It was almost anticlimactic. At least for most of the table. It was a mellow song, and Josef’s voice while not professional caliber by any means, was pleasant enough to carry the song.

Josef got off to a nervous start, but was careful to not let it show, keeping his normal implacable face intact. He noted dispassionately that he was having a bit of trouble hitting those low notes, should’ve done it in a different key. Then his attention turned to the lyrics.

_I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight, with a billion stars all around…_

He couldn’t help thinking about the times they’d done just that, back in the wild wild west when Shane was playing big bad bounty hunter and Josef was busy making money. There was nothing like letting the constraints of pretending to be human fall away, naked and arms wide open to embrace the raw nature all around, so much a part of it that the sense of freedom was as heady as the sex and blood. It was an experience he decided they should repeat again very soon. It had been a long time.

_I get a peaceful, easy feeling, and I know you won’t let me down_

_Cause I’m already standing on the ground…_

That wasn’t true, though. Shane had let him down, many times. Josef just stuck it out, he supposed those feet on the ground had helped. Now though, things were different. Had he really come to have a peaceful easy feeling? He tested it on for size, found it fit and that he liked it.

Smiling to himself, Josef finished up the song to decent applause and jumped nimbly off the stage.

“Why’d you pick that song?” Shane asked when Josef slipped into the seat next to him again.

Josef shrugged. “Just felt like it.”

XXX

Beth went next, Mick watching her take the stage with unabashed adoration. Unfortunately that quickly switched to a sort of horrified-awkward grimace when she began singing “Ain’t It Just Like a Woman” in a low, sexy voice.

Quicker than a flash, Mick jumped up and dove across the stage to stop it. Josef shook his head, knowing the awkward choice for what it was: Coraline’s favorite song. Poor Beth didn’t know that obviously, he wondered if Mick would have the heart (or balls) to tell her.

After a few awkward moments of hurried conversation, Mick’s hand over the mike to mute their voices, a change was made and the music started up again. Mick remained on the stage with Beth, turning the song into a duet.

_I got flowers in the spring; I got you to wear my ring_

_And when I’m sad you’re a clown and when I get scared you’re always around…_

_I got you babe_

To the loud groans of embarrassment from their friends, Mick and Beth began singing “I Got You, Babe” complete with hand holding and swaying to and fro as they sang in true Sonny & Cher fashion.

“Oh god, that’s disgustingly cute,” Josef comment while Sara made a ‘throwing up now’ gesture.

“What a pig! Figures he’d ruin her independent song by joining and turning it into a lovey-dovey couple thing. Poor Beth has her work cut out for her!”

“Hey!” Shane defended the duo. “They could do worse.” The other two stared at him in shock. He wondered as he watched them play Sonny and Cher, if Mick and Beth could even comprehend at this early stage of their relationship, how profound their choice might be. He spoke, more for Sara’s benefit than Josef’s, who would catch on easily. He nodded to the singers. “There was a great example of a soul deep love that lasts forever.”

“Sonny and Cher?” I thought they divorced and went their separate ways?” Sara asked.

“They always loved each other, just couldn’t live together. When they reunited on Letterman years later it was obvious, at Sonny’s funeral too. Love doesn’t mean being together 24/7 forever. Sometimes you gotta take a break, go and do your own things. Too much togetherness can actually harm a relationship.” Okay, maybe he had a point to make to Josef _too_. Or maybe they simply balanced each other out perfectly; Shane’s ‘I need space’ with Josef’s ‘I want to see more of you.' If Sonny and Cher had been vampires, they would have had an eternity, to spend both together and apart. No rush to experience life, no feeling of missing out on anything. That was the elusive truth too many people didn’t understand: living forever actually made true love _easier_ hold onto.

“True love forever does exist,” Shane told his lovers. “Don’t ever doubt it.”

They were silent a moment, turning attention to the schmaltzy song briefly. “So why did Mick stop her from singing the song she wanted to?” Sara asked, puzzled.

“Bad memories,” Josef answered. “It was Coraline’s song.”

Sara turned back to them. “Who is this Coraline who causes so much trouble even dead?”

XXX

**New York City, 1863:**

It cost three hundred dollars to buy an exemption from the draft. If only the Vietnam War had been so easy to avoid, all those young men wouldn’t have had to flee to Canada. In actuality though, it wasn’t easy. That was a lot of money in those days, and only the rich could afford it. For Josef Konstantin it was spare change.

New York in the summer of 1863 was a mad house. The North against the South was playing out right in the heart of the city. There was rioting in the streets, an angry mob of Irish Americans marauding down Second Avenue, fighting police and setting fires. When the night came, the city would be overrun with another minority, the vampires, prowling the alleys and side streets looking for the dead or dying the authorities might have missed, hoping for a quick and easy meal.

Meanwhile, Josef Konstantin was sitting in safety and comfort at his private club. It was quiet, dark and subdued, opulent in red velvet brocade and expensive leather. Top shelf liquor flowed easily, as did the blood of the mostly Asian and Black freshies attending. He sat at the poker table with the other men, holding a lousy hand and trying to out-bluff Jackson Bettis.

Jackson’s wife Emma stormed in, disrupting the solemn sanctity of the reverent atmosphere with her wild temper, red hair flying behind her.

“It’s not fair!” Emma said, her face fierce as she pulled up a chair next to her husband. “We have to do something to help them!”

“It’s not our fight,” Josef put in quickly, wanting to diffuse the situation before Jackson, also Irish, caught the fever. He saw the man put a hand on her arm to stay her and was satisfied for the moment. In some ways, although not a vampire as long as Emma, Jackson had more control. Perhaps it was that he was able to channel his aggression into boxing. Josef had made a decent amount of money on the boxer, betting on him to win in the boxing matches that were held in the basement.

“Not to you,” Emma retorted. “I came to this country to escape the famine. Now my people are being discriminated against.”

Josef arched an eyebrow. “I thought that’s one of the things humans are fighting for? Freedom.” His face hardened. “And it’s not _our _ fight,” he emphasized.

Josef was concerned for them both. He hadn’t known them long enough to consider them friends, it wasn’t like he cared… but it was prudent for an influential and wealthy vampire who had a lot to lose to keep careful eye on those of his kind who might rock the boat. Get them noticed.

Jackson and Emma, both vampires for such a short amount of time. It had been a real case of a child having a child, as Emma hadn’t been a vamp long herself when they fell in love and she turned him. That sounded like a recipe for disaster to Josef, but he was planning on staying in New York for awhile so he’d do what he could to avert it. He’d already encouraged Jackson to continue fighting. This would help the young vamp learn to control his blood lust, and had the added benefit of Josef making money on the bets they placed. It was a good business opportunity. Josef’s concern was for himself and the safety of the vampire nation. Anyone who threatened that had to be dealt with. If he could avoid doing it the hard way and make a few bucks at the same time, it was a perfect solution. One could never have _too_ much money after all.

In hindsight over a century later, while sitting in a karaoke bar and reliving those days, Josef would consider how ironic it was that Emma, a newbie vampire without a sire, had been smart enough to give the man she loved a choice before she turned him. Coraline, who should have known better, hadn’t.

Jackson stroked his wife’s back lovingly. “There’s nothing we can do, my love,” he told her sadly. “Our people are here now,” he nodded to the assorted vampires around the room. “You know that.”

As the conversation turned to human politics and they began debating human morals, Josef grew bored and cast his eye around the room for distraction. His attention was caught by a vampire he hadn’t seen before. This would have intrigued him enough to introduce himself alone; the fact that it was also a beautiful and sexy woman was a pleasant bonus.

Josef made his way over to the new arrival, holding out a glass of blood champagne.

“Tedious, isn’t it?” she asked in a silky voice, accepting the offering as if it was her due.

“Too true,” Josef said, bowing slightly to her in greeting.

“A gentleman,” she said approvingly. “I’m Coraline Duvall. You’ve heard of the Duvall family.”

Of course it wasn’t a question. Josef was careful not to let his surprise show. The Duvall’s wealth and influence far surpassed Josef’s own, but they rarely left France. Very old world.

“I’m Josef Konstantin, and I’m very honored to meet you.” As Coraline gave him a speculative and heated gaze, Josef had a feeling life was about to get a lot more interesting.

Very quickly of course, he got to know Coraline and found that Emma with her Irish temper was infinitely preferable to this French femme fatale.

XXX

“Wow, you really don’t care at all what happens in human history?” Sara asked after Josef had finished relating the tale of meeting Coraline Duvall.

“In so much as it affects me, yes,” he replied, unperturbed. “When you live long enough you’ll learn how foolish and ruled by their emotions humans are. They were fighting for freedom of slaves, yet in New York poor Irish immigrants who were angry at being drafted were taking it out on the blacks they held responsible. They even burned an orphanage to the ground. Hypocrisy, the human way. The British escaped to America to live their lives in freedom from the British rule but forced their own rule on others. But I do have to give the US one thing – it’s a great place for the rich to get richer.”

“You’re cynical, you know that?” Sara told him.

Josef shrugged. “Cynical, realistic, you say potato I say potahto,” he said with a wink.

Sara looked at Shane. “How did you two ever form such a close relationship?”

Shane knew it wasn’t that Josef was uncaring. It was that he had to be. He cared _too_ much. But that was his secret. And Sara would figure it out soon enough on her own. “He’s a good fuck,” he returned nonchalantly.

Sputtering on his drink, Josef smacked him upside the head. Then seemed to reconsider. “I could say the same thing, actually.”

Sara gave them both a haughty look. “You’re _both_ full of shit, you know that?”

“Did you know the Choctaw Indians reached out and sent over seven hundred dollars to Ireland to help the people during the famine?” Shane informed them. “Because they knew how it was to face starvation. Do you know how amazing that was?”

Josef leaned close to Sara. “He was a friend of the Native Americans, bet you could guess. Any radical, fringe, or disenfranchised group and Shane was there,” Josef said, reaching out and grabbing a fist full of his long blond hair. “Looked amazingly good in braids…”

“Wasn’t that Cher song, Half Breed, about the Choctaws?” Sara asked.

Shane winced at the song title, being a sensitive label among vampires as well. “That was Cherokee.”

“I could swear there was a song about Choctaws…”

“And in the vampire 7 degrees of separation, we’re back to Sonny and Cher again,” Josef said as Mick and Beth came down from the stage and rejoined them.

“What did we miss?” Mick asked.

“More tall tales,” Sara said, nodding at the boys.

Mick’s face fell in obvious disappointment at missing out. Josef smirked.

“That was Ode to Billy Joe,” Shane suddenly piped up with. At everyone’s questioning look, he continued. “The song that mentions Choctaws.”

“Classic song for decades and then in the movie they decided to solve the mystery by making it that Billy Joe committed suicide because he was gay. I couldn’t believe it,” Josef shook his head in obvious disappointment.

“How do you two drift so far from topics?” Sara wanted to know. “We went from American Civil War to Irish potato famine, to Indians?”

“History’s a bit different when you _live_ it,” Shane explained.

“I always loved _Son of a Preacher_ actually,” Josef mentioned apropos of absolutely nothing.

“I dated the son of a preacher once,” Shane told them with a wink. “It’s true what they say.”

“_Dated_,” Josef scoffed. “By dated you mean—“ and abruptly had food stuffed in his mouth by Shane. He spit it out disdainfully. “Oh, yuck!” he complained, looking for all the world as if he’d had a mouth full of cow pies instead of French fries.

“Not bad when you get used to it,” Shane teased, picking up a fry and popping it into his mouth, chewing and swallowing with a touch of smugness.

“Make him stop,” Josef warned Sara. “Or I’ll vomit. And you don’t want to see a vampire puke; it’s not a pretty sight.”

“You get used to that, too. Did you ever hear Tina Turner’s version?” Shane asked the group. At yet another questioning look he clarified. “Son of a Preacher. Man, is she hot…” he made a sizzling noise and drew back his fingers as if burned.

“Did you ever meet her??” Mick’s expression had gone a bit glazed and rapt, totally forgetting where he was and who was by his side, intently listening to the elder vampires go on.

“I wish,” Shane sighed dramatically.

“Maybe next time we should hit a pub quiz,” Beth mused, wondering if having vampires along would ensure an easy win.

“You say that like there’s going to _be_ a next time,” Josef said with a smirk.

Beth smiled sweetly at him, patting his arm for good measure. “Oh, there will be.”

While the two were trading looks, Shane abruptly jumped up, heading again for the stage.

The others watched while Shane took the stage and began belting out “Son of a Preacher” enthusiastically and totally unmindful of pronouns.

_The only one who could ever reach me was the son of a preacher man_

_The only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a preacher man..._

“Now _this_ is awkward,” Josef proclaimed.

“Are we gonna have to make a quick exit to avoid being beat up again?” Mick asked.

“I hope not,” Josef replied.

Mick leaned over to talk into Beth’s ear, trusting in her reporter skills of observation. “Keep an eye on the crowd and let us know if anyone looks... violent.”

Beth shook her head in exasperation at the vampire’s antics. “He does enjoy shaking up the status quo, huh?”

“The thing you have to understand about Shane is,” Josef explained, “he’s got that streak in him. It has little significance to him if it happens to be a gay rights topic. That’s just a bonus. He just likes messing with people.”

Sara nodded. “We’ve got this widow up in Resurrection who makes the most god awful Lemon Wedges you ever tasted. Everyone hates them but no one has enough balls to tell her. So one Christmas Shane got her to make up a whole crap load of them to give to the whole town as presents.” She chuckled at the memory.

Mick pointed a finger at the three of them in turn. “You people are all nasty. That’s why you get along so well.”

Josef shrugged. “They bring it upon themselves.”

“Oh!” Sara snapped her fingers. “That guy from Swedish Idol does this song.” Everyone looked at her. She shrugged. “Satellite dish. We get all the channels now; Shane watches a lot of the Scandinavian ones.”

“Somehow I doubt that this crowd watches Swedish idol,” Mick nodded to said crowd but luckily enough they seemed too drunk at this point to care about the songs being sung, in fact they’d all started singing along.

“I like it better than “The kid is hot tonight,” Beth admitted, unconsciously tapping her foot to the beat. “It fits his voice better.”

There turned out to be no incidents that night, violent or otherwise. And Mick won the contest by singing a beautiful and romantic version of Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” to Beth. The audience loved it, because like vampires, romance is eternal.

**the end**

**Author's Note:**

> I have wanted to bring Emma and Jackson into my universe, since I really liked them. Just never found a way till now. Bettis is one of the names on the marriage certificates on the wall in their house. 
> 
> Shane and I decided we had to find a male singer version of “Son of a Preacher” on You Tube, and went to great lengths to find it, and we were victorious. Cheap thrill. Not a bad version, either. The guy does a really good cover of “Walkin’ in Memphis” too. And hmm, darned if it wasn’t a Swedish guy! Is there anything Shane that doesn’t lead back to Scandinavia?!  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9sZheFTxpc
> 
> PS: Yes there really is such a thing as "Swedish Idol" and the singer of "Son of a Preacher" was on it. You didn't think I made that up, did you?!


End file.
